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Who’s Up First?

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I often hear of brides who make up their own unique rituals, and sometimes it seems that today’s brides struggle to be different. It can be so stressful, and I wonder why they go to such lengths! Just because something is “old” doesn’t mean it’s not wonderful. Of course, there are still those who adhere to the traditional rules of etiquette that have survived over many generations. I suppose the traditional bride has her work cut out for her. The good news is that there are any number of resources, including this blog, where a bride can find all of the answers.

A bride asks: “If I want to have both a maid of honor and a matron of honor, which one walks down the aisle first during the processional?”

Dear bride: You’ve touched upon a question for which there appears to be no rule of etiquette! So, you’re free to choose who goes first — depending on whatever criteria you like. For instance, if the first of the two will walk down the aisle and then to the right of the bridal couple, you can “match” her by height with whomever she’ll end up standing next to. Other options are to have the older of the two precede the younger, or the one who is closer to you will walk down first.

One source I found offered an interesting answer with a rather good suggestion. It proposes that, when there’s no train-bearer, either the maid or matron of honor be in charge of the bride’s train. That would place the other one walking with the other attendants while the first follows the bride.

Keep in mind that with this question, you can’t be breaking a rule, because there’s none to break. Have fun — and let us know what you end up doing!

To submit your own question to the Wedding Guru, email Judy at judy@hudsonvalleyweddings.com.

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