Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding, And In Which Order?

Speeches are a major part of traditional weddings, though the order and rules of giving one has been blurred with time. Here’s my best piece of advice regarding speeches: none should be more than seven minutes long and, when in doubt, less is always more!

A Hudson Valley bride asks: “I would like to have some speeches in my wedding reception, but I’m not sure about the order and who should be allowed to speak. I don’t want to offend anyone by leaving them out.”

(See our answer on next page)

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Dear Hudson Valley bride: Since there’s no absolute, written-in-stone list with regard to who delivers a speech, I’ll offer you several options. The order is not as important as those who make the speeches (and what they’ll say, obviously).

I contacted the people at OccasionalWords.com, which was founded after two professional writers seated next to each other at a wedding witnessed the best man’s 14-minute (!) struggle to say something appropriate. Here’s their suggestion for who speaks, in order:

1. Father of the bride
2. Father of the groom
3. Mother of the bride
4. Mother of the groom
5. Sibling of the bride
6. Sibling of the groom
7. Master of ceremonies
8. Best man
9. Maid of honor
10. Friends/relatives

Others you might want to consider for a speech include the bride and groom themselves, and any other guests of honor such as the bridesmaids/groomsmen (collectivelly or individually), grandparents, godparents, guardians, close relatives, cousins, best friends, coworkers, bosses, children of the bride or groom, and the wedding officiant.

Of course, having so many people speak might leave no time for actual reveling (or eating dinner). Here’s the shortest list:

1. Father/Mother of the bride and groom
2. Bride/Groom
3. Best man/Maid of Honor

All in all, I suggest you select those closest to you and who you feel will take the honor seriously. In that way, you can’t go wrong!

» More about wedding speeches
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2011