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Who Chooses the Wedding Music: You or Your Guests?

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Regardless of their upbringing or ethnicity, I always receive this same question from many brides: “Who’s this wedding about?” This week’s post deals with an even more specific issue — brides want to select their own wedding music, but a relative feels their choices are inappropriate. Whose musical tastes prevail?

A Hudson Valley bride asks:My fiancé comes from a strong Jewish background. We decided that we want only Jewish music at our wedding. My future mother-in-law insists we’re making a mistake by not accommodating all of our guests. She says we’re being ‘selfish’ by thinking only of ourselves. Do you agree?”

(Our answer on next page)

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The Wedding Guru answers: Yes, it’s your wedding. Yes, as much as possible you should be in charge. Yes, your likes and dislikes should be reflected in the details of the wedding. With all that being said, think about your objective for having a wedding reception. It is, after all, an opportunity for you to celebrate your marriage with the people you love and like. If you agree with that goal, then you may want, at least, to alter your plans somewhat. If the type of music that you choose excludes a majority of guests and keeps them from the dance floor, then consider integrating other types of music that will better suit your crowd.

A wedding reception is much like inviting people to your home. You want your guests to feel comfortable. You want them to know that you have taken their likes and dislikes into consideration. Would you serve your vegan guests a steak dinner? Would you play heavy metal as background music if you invited your grandparents to dinner?

The bottom line is that the party really isn’t all about you. It’s about you and the guests whom you chose to invite. You can select the music based exclusively on your taste, or you can mix it up, so that your guests will remember having a good time at your party. On this one, I think that your future mother-in-law is correct. I suggest you think carefully and that you opt for a compromise.

» More on wedding music
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2012

 

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