What to Do When You’re Unhappy Where You’ve Been Seated At a Wedding

A guest questions the seating arrangement at a wedding she attended. Should she complain to the bride, or just deal with it?

I’m guessing this week’s question could only come from someone who has never been involved in planning a wedding. Read on…

Dear Wedding Guru:
“My husband and I made a supreme effort to attend the destination wedding of a close family member, albeit it cost us an arm and a leg. Between the cost of driving and the cost of the hotel and the cost of the gift, we were really stretching. So, when we found ourselves seated with an entire table of people who were least 30 years younger than we were, we were extraordinarily annoyed. My husband said to suck it up, but I can’t get past it. Am I exaggerating my feeling of annoyance?” — Can’t Stand Where I’m Siting

Dear Can’t Stand Where I’m Sitting:
Figuring out the seating arrangement is, in my opinion, the most difficult detail in planning a wedding. No matter how careful, respectful, and courteous bridal couples are in putting together the tables at a reception, there will always be those who are unhappy with their placement. I used to joke that I’d know I was getting old when I was seated far away from the music! 

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I doubt the bride and groom intended to insult you, and I’m certain that they tried really hard to put you where they thought you’d be happy. After all, that’s the goal. Look at your seating in a positive way: Perhaps the bride and groom felt you were young enough in spirit to fit with 30-year-olds. Or maybe they simply couldn’t find another table where they thought you’d be more comfortable. Whatever the case may be, please try to remember the good things about this wedding — and forget about the table arrangement.

Have a wedding question? Write to me at judy@hvmag.com

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