What to Do When A Not-So-Close Friend Asks You to Plan Their Wedding

One reader questions why a friend’s wedding planning was tasked to her — and how she can get out of it

It’s not easy to say no, especially to a friend, so you will understand this wedding guest’s problem.

Dear Wedding Guru:
“A friend, not particularly a close friend, put me on the spot recently by asking me if I would help ‘coordinate’ on the day of her wedding. She wanted me to make sure that everything came off on time and properly. Frankly, I think she’s asking too much and I just don’t know how to get out of the situation I put myself in.” — Bit Off More Than I Can Chew

Dear Bit Off More Than I Can Chew:
First off, I agree that your friend is asking way too much of you. I have learned the hard way that it’s best to respond to a question like she asked with the phrase “please let me think about that.” I’m wondering, however, if there’s something in this scenario that’s unusual, which “allowed” her to assume that you would agree to the task. If not, I suggest that you go back to her and tell her that you just can’t accept the responsibility, because you’re not a wedding planner! Hopefully, she won’t be annoyed. The only exception would be if the wedding is next week, in which case I’d say you’re pretty much stuck doing it.

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Have a wedding question? Write to me at judy@hvmag.com

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