What, No Gifts? Why You Shouldn’t Expect Gifts at Your Wedding

The Wedding Guru puts a bride in her place after she complains about not receiving as many gifts as she’d hoped

Every so often, the Wedding Guru receives a question and is simply dumbfounded. This is one of those occasions!

A Hudson Valley bride asks: “My husband and I got married several months ago. It was a lovely wedding and we got lovely gifts from most of our guests. We are both, however, surprised that there were several guests who did not give us anything. Can you tell me how we can go about reminding them that we never got their gifts, and that gifts are appropriate from people who attend a wedding?”

(Answer on next page)

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Dear Hudson Valley bride: The dictionary defines a gift as “something given to show friendship, affection, support, etc.” It is not payment for attending an event. You most certainly should not expect a gift from any of your guests — a gift is a voluntary act of kindness. Bear in mind that, although not a great idea, some people wait for quite a while after a wedding to send a gift. That being said, there will be guests from whom you never receive a gift — and you will have to be okay with that. By no means should you ask, hint, or allude to the fact that someone has neglected to give you a gift. I would hope that the people you invited to your wedding were people you care about and that the invitation was not sent in expectation of a gift!

» More about wedding gifts and etiquette
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2011

 

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