Every once in a while we hear from someone planning a wedding who puts their guests first and foremost. They could stand as an example for everyone else!
Dear Wedding Guru: “Do you know the rules about sending pre-wedding invites? I’m choosing my venue based on the number of family and friends who can attend, instead of a fixed number of guests. This way, we can invite as many of our friends and family as possible. Our pre-wedding invitation basically asks our guests to respond ASAP; if they R.S.V.P. ‘yes,’ we’ll pick our venue (based on the number of ‘yes’ responses), and then let the guests know the details. (Essentially we don’t ask them to respond a second time.) Have you heard of anyone doing this? If so, please let me know and give me whatever feedback and suggestions you may have.”
Dear Valley bride: I love the idea and I’m sure your family and friends will be delighted; however, the process seems a bit complicated, no? Many bridal couples send out “Save the Date” cards so friends and families can hold the date — but these “preâ€‘invitations” don’t usually require a response from the guest. To accomplish your goal, you should probably nix the “Save the Date” cards altogether and use your “preâ€‘invitation” cards instead. But I’d recommend using different verbiage; try adding some instructions (keep it simple) about what you’re doing. [Editor’s note: How about: “Since we’re choosing our venue based on your availability — and to ensure that as many of our loved ones as possible can attend this joyous occasion — please include your prompt R.S.V.P. with this card.”] That way, your guests will understand that you’re not just using the typical “A” and “B” list; you’re establishing the number of your guests and afterwards picking the venue. Good luck!