Weddings can be a wonderful way to bring extended families closer to one another — or they can be divisive and alienating.
Dear Wedding Guru: “Do I have to include my stepmother in my wedding pictures?”
(Our answer on next page)
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The Wedding Guru says: I could use a bit more information from you, but not having that I’ll answer with several scenarios:
- Scenario 1: You are/were living with your stepmother for an extended period of time, your own mom passed away and your stepmother “took over,” or you just really like your stepmother…
- Scenario 2: You don’t really know your stepmother because you’ve only lived with her for a short time, or you’ve lived with your birth mother…
If yours is the first scenario, the answer is emphatically yes! If your birth mother is not alive (or not around), your stepmother is your real family and she should be included as you would with your birth mother.
If yours is the second scenario, the answer is also yes, but you can have pictures taken as a family with your stepmother and others taken with the family and your mother.
Excluding your stepmother will not only hurt her feelings, but also your dad’s. It could create a family rift that I’m certain you want to avoid. In advance of your wedding day (or rehearsal if you’re having one), talk to your photographer to discuss the types of photos you want and who you want to be included. An experienced photographer will no doubt have dealt with such issues before.
It’s up to you to decide which road you want to travel. I highly recommend that you choose to be inclusive instead of exclusive!
» More about wedding photos
» More from The Wedding Guru
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» Hudson Valley Weddings 2013
