Many years ago, when my husband was a chaplain in the army, I learned a valuable lesson: I wanted to hold a dinner party, but officers were only supposed to invite guests of their rank or below — this excluded my husband’s commanding officer and his wife from attending. The Chief of Chaplain’s wife let me on an important rule of thumb: If you’re doing something that really comes from the heart (and not to garner a reward or praise), you will always be okay, etiquette-wise!
A Hudson Valley bride asks: “My fiancé and I are having a very small wedding, because his family lives abroad and most of them won’t be able to attend. I don’t want to overwhelm the few that do come by inviting a large group of my medical school classmates (with whom I am very close). Can I throw a pre-wedding party for my classmates instead, and not invite them to my wedding?”
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The Wedding Guru says: If you’re following the “rule” in my introduction, then the answer is absolutely yes! With that in mind, I suggest you specify “no gifts, please” on the invitation to the pre-wedding dinner. This way, your friends will know it’s not a gift you’re looking for, but rather the ability to celebrate with them.
» More about inviting guests to your wedding
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2013
