Toasters are Toast

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Toasters are Toast

Doreen asks: “My fiancé and I are mature adults. We’ve maintained separate households for quite a few years now. How do I tactfully state that we’d prefer to receive monetary gifts versus all the traditional household items that we both already have?”

Dear Doreen: Yours is not an unusual circumstance. Many couples today have already set up their own homes, or have joined their two into one. As a matter of fact, a survey of 66,000 prospective brides show that they still favor housewares as the registry gift of choice, but more than half admitted that what they would really prefer is cash. So, I can fully understand that what would work best for you is cash.

Asking for gifts of cash breaks all the traditional rules of etiquette, but changing times, changing standards and morals bring about changes in what is and what is not appropriate. It’s no surprise then, that the Internet, which for today’s couples is a must-have tool, should be in the forefront of expanding the registry concept and making it work for them.

- Advertisement -

There are any number of web sites which offer guests the opportunity to “buy” a cash gift, thereby contributing to the couple’s honeymoon, home, or even their nest egg. Other online registries have sets up a system by which guests can contribute toward the couple’s purchase of their first home. You will need to find a real estate agency, bank, or mortgage company that has set up such a registry. There are also online cash registries that are more generic and allow the gift giver to contribute a monetary gift into a general fund which the couple will have as their nest egg for future, yet unnamed purchases.

For more information, I direct you to’s Wedding Guide article “We Really Don’t Need a Toaster.”


To submit your own question to “The Wedding Guru,” add your comment to the box below or E-mail


Our Digital Partners

Learn how to become a digital partner ...

Our Excellence in Nursing Awards take place on May 1!

Our Best of Hudson Valley ballot is open through March 31!

Unveiled: A Boutique Bridal Brunch is February 25!

Holiday flash sale ... subscribe and save 50%

Limited time offer. New subscribers only.