The Right Way to Deal With No-Shows at a Wedding

Emergencies aside, there’s no reason why an RSVP “yes” should turn into an empty seat at your wedding. No guest? No gift? No good

With the cost of weddings and receptions these days, it’s hard to believe that this kind of problem still arises. The question is: how would you handle it? Read on…

Dear Wedding Guru:
“I understand that emergencies arise and sometimes guests are simply unable to attend a wedding to which they have responded positively. What I don’t understand is those people who don’t show up and then say nothing about it… or those who say nothing and don’t send a gift. What’s the right way to handle the no-shows?” — No Sympathy For No-Shows

Dear No Sympathy:
I agree. It boggles my mind how people can be so rude as to RVSP “yes” and then never show up to the wedding — and never provide an explanation. I wouldn’t blame you for feeling really annoyed and even to be curt, if given the opportunity. At the very least, the no-show owes you an explanation and, as far as I’m concerned, a gift!

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That said, it’s entirely appropriate to call the person and ask them what happened. You should at least know why they didn’t make it when they said they would — especially since you paid for their seat (and perhaps their guest’s, if they were entitled to a plus-one). Regardless of the reason, you deserved a phone call and an apology. So, my advice? Confront them (provided it feels right to you), learn from their folly, forgive — and never do it yourself.

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