The Invite Slight

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Two brides deal with inviting friends for help — and “uninviting“ in-laws on the announcements

This may come as no surprise, but there are always a huge amount of sensitive questions that need to be addressed while planning a wedding. No matter how big or small the issue, keep in mind that your goal should be to share in your joy with as many people as possible, whether they’re on the wedding programs… or not. That being said…

A bride asks: “My parents are paying for our entire wedding — my future in-laws are not paying for anything at all. My fiancé and I agree that we will include only my parents’ names on the invitation. Is that okay?”

Dear bride-to-be: Because your parents are the host and hostess at your wedding, according to the rules of etiquette you can include their names only. However, many bridal couples include the names of both sets of parents — regardless of whether or not one or both couples are contributing to the event. That decision should be made jointly between your and your parents, as you keep in mind that your in-laws will, hopefully, be a part of your lives for a very long time.

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Hillary asks: “I’m a bit embarrassed about asking my friends and family to serve as attendants at my wedding. Do you have any ideas as to how I can get past this?”

Dear Hillary: Simply put, don’t be afraid to ask for help! If rejection is your worry, explain that you will understand being turned down and that you’d rather receive a “no” up front than an uncompleted assignment later. Your honesty will be appreciated — and you’re less likely to be disappointed down the road.

Readers, have you any suggestions for a bashful bride — or how to give credit where credit is due… without snubbing the in-laws? Write your thoughts below, or submit your own question to the Wedding Guru at

wedding invitation

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