Stunt-Double Groom

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Does the groom need a stand-in during the wedding rehearsal?

With so many rituals and traditions surrounding weddings, it’s not usual that there’s a lot of misinformation floating around. It’s hard to tell where (and why) some silly suggestions begin, but here, we try to clear them up!

A Valley bride asks: “My friend is getting married in March and I heard that, during the rehearsal ceremony, someone is supposed to ‘stand-in’ for the groom. I can’t remember where I got this information, but I’m not really sure if it’s correct or not. Do you?”

Dear Valley bride: I’m not aware that, under any circumstances, the groom has a stand-in. The only thing that comes close is at a traditional/Orthodox Jewish wedding: the bride and groom aren’t supposed to see each other before the wedding day. (But in that case, if there’s a rehearsal dinner, it’s the bride who needs a stand-in, not the groom.)

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That said, a rehearsal dinner can follow traditional guidelines, or be memorable because alternative rituals are sprinkled in. If the groom wants to take a load off his feet at the rehearsal, I say, why not? (Just make sure the bride gets the same privilege!)

To submit your own question to the Wedding Guru, email Judy at

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