Spread the Love

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: One couple who “has it all” turns down gifts for something more important

Some newly wedded couples prove that they’re not just involved with themselves — they’re also committed to making the world a better place. Read on…

A Valley bride asks: “My future husband and I have been living together for several years. We’re in our early 30s and our home is pretty well-stocked with just about everything we need. We both have good jobs, make a decent living, and can afford to take a pass on gifts from our wedding guests. So instead of giving us gifts, we’d like our guests to donate to charity. How do we suggest this without insulting our guests?”

Dear Valley bride: You are to be commended for your unselfish attitude! The best way to get your message across is to tell both sets of parents and your best friends that you prefer a donation in lieu of the gift. Then, they can spread the word. If you’re concerned that might not work, I have two more options for you:

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The first is that you make your wishes known in your “Save the Date” card. Pick your favorite charity and have your fiancé pick his, or agree on one. Include the logo and a short description about the charity on the bottom of the card, with the wording: “We kindly request that, in lieu of a gift, you donate to one of the following charities.”

Or, leave it to the Internet to find a solution! Check out the I Do Foundation; you can create a charity registry that encourages guests “to commemorate your wedding with a gift to your specially chosen charities.” (The Web site address can be included in your bridal shower invitation, or on your “Save the Date” card.)

Most not-for-profits send bridal couples an acknowledgment of their guests’ donation. You can respond as you would for any other wedding gift that you receive!

To submit your own question to the Wedding Guru, email Judy at judy@hvmag.com.

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