RSVP Now (Please): How to Get Your Wedding Guests Off Their Lazy Bums

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Yes or no? Be diplomatic when inciting a response from less than enthusiastic wedding guests

Ever hear of the expression, “Forewarned is forearmed?” This week’s bride has been given advanced notice of her soon-to-be in-laws’ penchant for, well, slacking. What should she do?

Dear Wedding Guru: “My fiancé warns me that his family is notorious about responding to invitations. (Apparently, many of them simply assume that, somehow, we’ll know that they’re coming to our wedding — even if they don’t send back the RSVP!) How do I handle family members who sit on the invitation like this?”

(See answer on next page)

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Dear Valley bride: There’s no excuse for not responding to an invitation by the cutoff date. It’s just rude. Unfortunately, some guests feel that they are “above the law.” (There also are those who simply forget, or think that their spouse took care of it.) Regardless, the best way to respond is to simply pick up the phone. If they haven’t made up their minds, tell them you’ll give them a couple of days to think about it. If you still don’t get a response, write a note or email explaining your disappointment that they won’t be joining you to share your special day. (That usually works!) Another way to diplomatically handle the situation is to ask one of your bridesmaids to make the call; this way, you alleviate the embarrassment of speaking to them directly.

This kind of problem tends to resolve itself with advanced notices, like “Save the Date” cards. With these, they’ll have plenty of time to decide before the actual invitation arrives. (One more thing: Take a lesson from these guests and make sure that when you send out your thank-you notes, you do so in a timely manner!)

» Read more from The Wedding Guru blog
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2011
» View our Wedding Guide

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