No Kids Allowed

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: No Kids Allowed

Victoria asks: “Please don’t think that I’m a bad, selfish person, but… I really don’t want to have children at my wedding. My fiancé and I are planning a very traditional, very formal wedding and we both think that having children around will spoil the mood. We are not going to have a flower girl, junior bridesmaids, or a ring bearer for the same reason. By the way, neither my fiancé, nor I plan on having any children of our own. What I want to know is how do I let the guests know that children are not invited?”

Dear Victoria: You most certainly are not a bad person for wanting to exclude children from your wedding. Without a doubt, there are certain wedding styles in which it may not be appropriate — nor practical — for children to attend. A very formal wedding will be, most likely, really boring for almost any child (while less formal, more relaxed weddings might accommodate children nicely).

To make certain that invited guests understand that children are not invited, the invitation may be written to include “Adult Reception” at the bottom of the reception card. Because this is a very sensitive issue, it is advisable to call people who might be assuming that their children are included in the invitation — before you send out the invitations. This way, hurt feelings may be avoided. Out-of-town guests who need to bring their children along pose a special problem. Providing them with a baby-sitter list, or even providing and paying for baby-sitting or day care services may be the only way around this issue for you.

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Kids say — and do — the darndest things everywhere they go, and weddings are no exception! Tell me your stories in the comments box below, or submit your own question to “The Wedding Guru” by E-mailing


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