My Friend Ditched My Wedding; Do I Need to Send a Gift to Hers?

If a friend never showed up to your wedding or mailed a card, is it okay to do the same to her?

Sometimes doing the right thing can be “painful,” but two wrongs never make a right. See what I mean below:

A local bride asks…

“A friend is getting married in the spring. I invited her and her fiancé to our wedding; they never came, nor did they send a gift or a card. Now I’m invited to her wedding. I don’t intend to go — do I need to send a gift?”

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The Wedding Guru says…

The classy thing to do is to send a gift. Under most circumstances this advice holds true. (Keep in mind that it’s possible that your friend never got the invitation to your wedding, or she did and didn’t know the proper etiquette.) One exception: you are no longer in touch with one another, or had a falling out. Then again, if this was true, you would probably be surprised by an invitation to such a wedding. Only under those conditions is a gift not necessary.

Got more questions? Write to me at

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