Mom vs. Wedding Planner

One mom wants control of the wedding planner, which spells trouble for our bride-to-be

If your budget allows, hiring a wedding planner is a wonderful treat!! However, it’s important to select a planner that understands your wishes, and accomplishing this is sometimes easier said than done…

A bride-to-be asks: “I’m very fortunate that I have caring, generous parents who want to make things as stress-free as possible for my wedding. My mother has decided that a wedding planner would help and she is happy to cover the cost. Of course I’m very grateful, but here’s my problem: My mother told me that she will be doing the interviews and the hiring. Since I’m the one working with the planner, I want to make sure that we’re in sync and that he/she knows what I want. I need to get that message across to my mom, or else there will be problems along the way and at the wedding.”

The Wedding Guru says: You’re lucky to have caring parents, so I would hate to see a good thing go bad. If you have an openly communicative relationship with your mom, then I suggest the direct approach. Obviously thank her first, then explain that you’d like to take the lead on hiring the planner. Although she’s certainly capable of hiring the consultant, if things are to go the way you would like them to, then it’s you who needs to make sure that you and the planner jibe.

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You could ask your mom to sit in on the interviews as a “silent partner,” so that when each interview is done, she can give you her feedback. And if you’re comfortable with your mom asking questions during the interview, then by all means do so.

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