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Most of today’s brides are comfortable following the basic rules of etiquette that have been around for a long time. But, just as surely as many of yesterday’s “do”s and “don’t”s still guide the modern bride, today’s weddings reflect a break with some of the hard and fast rules of the past.
A mother-of-the-bride asks: “I can’t believe that my daughter wants to pick a pregnant friend to be one of her bridesmaids. The friend will be almost eight months along at the wedding, so she’ll really be showing. I’ve never seen a pregnant attendant at a wedding before, and feel it would be very inappropriate. What do you think?”
Dear mother-of-the-bride: Our view of pregnancy has changed a great deal over the years! In the past, mothers-to-be secluded themselves and kept out of the view of the public. Today, pregnant women are all about “putting it out there.” Future moms wear bathing suits with their belly bumps, and many breastfeed in public — just two things that were unheard of once upon a time. That sense of freedom carries over to the bridesmaid who is chosen based on her close relationship to the bride or groom — and the issue of her being pregnant is simply not an issue.
You can suggest that your daughter speak to her friend to make sure that the bridesmaid understands what her duties will be, and that she’s relatively sure that she’ll feel up to whatever physical exertion may be necessary. Being a bridesmaid involves duties which may be too strenuous for someone who is eight months pregnant — duties that, for example, require long periods of standing. Otherwise, take it easy, and enjoy that your daughter values friendship over appearance!
Write your thoughts below, or submit your own question to the Wedding Guru at judy@hudsonvallyeweddings.com.
