Introducing My Parents: How to Toast Parents and Stepparents at a Wedding

One bride questions how to toast her two dads without offending either

The last thing a bride and groom want at their wedding is to hurt someone’s feelings or worse — leave an important person out during their toast. When you’re dealing with so many details (and so many people with different sensibilities), it’s easy to misstep!

Dear Wedding Guru: “My wife-to-be was brought up by her mother and stepdad — her birth father wasn’t around a lot. Though she’s being given away by her stepdad, her ‘real’ dad has been present in her life in the past few years and will be at the wedding. What do I say when I toast the parents? How do I include him?”

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Dear Valley Groom-to-be: I commend you! Because a wedding is such a special event, it’s especially easy to offend people. I suggest that in your speech, you mention the bride’s dad by simply saying that you’re pleased to have him present. (Something like, “We’re happy to have (Bride)’s father, (Father’s name), with us sharing our special day.”) In that way, you can include him without placing him in the same “category” as the parents who’ve always been present in the bride’s life. Using the distinct word “father” might also help separate him from the bride’s dad (stepdad).

Have a wonderful wedding, and please accept the Wedding Guru’s best wishes!

» Read more about parents’ roles at a wedding
» Read more about “Introducing My Parents”
» Read more from The Wedding Guru blog
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2011
» View our Wedding Guide

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