When dealing with issues of loss, sentiments tend to run high and require extra sensitivity.
Dear Wedding Guru: “My boyfriend’s daughter is getting married. He’s a widower (we’ve been living together for almost a year). I’m pretty sure I’ll be invited to the wedding; is it proper for me to sit with him at the ceremony and at the reception?”
(Our answer on next page)
The Wedding Guru says: You have every right to expect to be seated with your boyfriend, but his being a widower does make things a little bit touchy. Ask your boyfriend how he feels about sitting together. If he’s okay with it — as well he should! — ask him to speak to his daughter. Obviously, neither of you wants to detract from her special day. He can ask if she’d like to include some kind of memoriam for her deceased mom, as well as if she’s okay with you sitting next to him. (If she’s a mature young woman, she will say yes.) If the answer is “no,” offer this compromise: he will not sit with you at the ceremony, but you will sit together at the reception.