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I’m Engaged — And My Friends are Enraged

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Sometimes the unexpected happens — and sometimes it’s not a good surprise. Being ready for this possibility may help to keep things from being blown out of proportion.

A Hudson Valley bride asks: “All of my family and most of my friends were thrilled when I told them that my fiancé had popped the question and that we’re beginning to make plans for our wedding. I was more than taken aback, however, when a few of my girlfriends seemed less-than-happy about my news. I can’t believe that anyone wouldn’t want to share our joy. I’m really surprised and upset and don’t know how to deal with this. What should I do?”

(Our answer on next page)

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The Wedding Guru answers: This problem is not yours alone. Unfortunately, I’ve heard of several occasions where friends — sometimes even really close ones — react blandly or negatively upon hearing engagement news from one of their pals. It’s hard to say exactly what is the motivation of your friends’ ill will. Perhaps some of your single girlfriends are envious of your newfound status? Or, they’re jealous of all the attention you’re getting. As often is the case, some friends feel hurt about being “replaced” by your future husband.

Here’s my suggestion: After they cool off, invite some of the naysayers out for drinks or lunch. Assure them that your being engaged doesn’t mean you’ll give up your friendship. (Also remind them that, especially over the next few months, their friendship and support will be invaluable to you.) If that doesn’t help, hopefully time will heal their wounds. In the meantime, stay away from anyone who wants to dampen your joy. This is one of the best times of your life, and nobody should be allowed to impact on it negatively!

» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2012

 

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