If you could capture all the tears shed during engagement periods, you could probably fill an ocean. There’s never been — nor will there ever be — a couple who hasn’t had issues before their wedding day. Emotions run high, feeling get hurt, and sometimes things are said that shouldn’t be. Such is the case with the Bridezilla. (She’s really not that evil… she’s just stressed. We hope.) What to do? Read on…
Pauline asks: “I admit I’m often snippy and short with those around me. I wish they’d all understand how much pressure I’m under, how nervous I am, and how I need their support — not their criticism! How can I get the message across politely… without hurting anyone’s feelings?”
Dear Pauline: You are not unique. Many brides-to-be fall prey to pre-wedding bad behavior. (That was the basis for the TV series Bridezillas. Ever see it?) If you ask me, I think the show was a bit over the top, but the reality is that the pressures of planning and having so many details to deal with often make the sweetest bride act poorly. Here’s my recommendation for dealing with the problem: Announce your feelings. One way is to take a few minutes to send an e-mail to everyone with whom you contact regularly. In the subject line, write “I’m sorry and I apologize.” In the message, explain why you’re behaving badly and why you’re apologizing, in advance. Write it from the heart. Hopefully your message will be taken to heart by the people who love you. Or, go to a store that prints T-shirts; order a few that say “I’m stressed. I apologize!” Wear it to remind your family and friends that you might not always be you up until your wedding day.
If the friends who have “known you forever” feel a bit put-off by the relationship with your soon-to-be-spouse, that’s natural. Those friends may feel displaced and scared of losing you. (In some cases, they may also feel a tinge of jealousy.) Try to make a little one-on-one time for your friends and family. Reassure them that there can (and will be) after-the-wedding time that you’ll spend together, even if it’ll have to wait a while until you and your spouse settle in.
Readers, have any advice for our Bridezilla? Let us know in the comments box below, or submit your question to “The Wedding Guru” by e-mailing email@example.com.