Going Stag Hits a Snag

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Single friends irk one bride with a question nobody can answer — except for Judy!

A wedding is all about celebrating your special day with the people you care about — and who care about you. An invitation to a wedding is not something to be given, nor accepted lightly. When you choose to invite a guest to your event, it’s an expense you don’t mind, well… expending, because you consider that person to be special in your life. Accepting an invitation to a wedding is a guest’s way of saying that you acknowledge the part you play in the bridal couple’s life. That said…

A bride asks: “My folks sent out the invitations to my wedding. The list of guests was chosen carefully and trimmed to stay within our budget — everyone knows that the economy is in a slump and that things are tight. So I was especially upset when several of my single friends called my mom to ask if they could bring along a date. Our invitations made no mention of bringing an escort or a date. Am I being unfair and overreacting? My mom says that my friends are being really rude. How do you feel about this and how can mom, or I say ‘no’ politely?”

Dear bride: Your mother is right to be annoyed and so are you. Usually, such requests come from people who haven’t been involved with planning a wedding and don’t realize the cost factors. But, even if your budget would allow for additional guests, the people who asked to bring “a date,” are out of line. A wedding isn’t a “dating event” and the invitation is for the invitee alone. An exception applies if a guest is engaged. In that circumstance, the invitation should be extended to them as a couple. If you wish to make an exception for any of your guests, you needn’t do so for all of them. For those guests who ask to bring a date, either you or your mom simply needs to say that dates are not included.

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Readers, do you agree? Share your thoughts in the comments box below, or submit your own question to the Wedding Guru by emailing Judy at judy@hudsonvalleyweddings.com.

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