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Going Stag Hits a Snag


A wedding is all about celebrating your special day with the people you care about — and who care about you. An invitation to a wedding is not something to be given, nor accepted lightly. When you choose to invite a guest to your event, it’s an expense you don’t mind, well… expending, because you consider that person to be special in your life. Accepting an invitation to a wedding is a guest’s way of saying that you acknowledge the part you play in the bridal couple’s life. That said…

A bride asks: “My folks sent out the invitations to my wedding. The list of guests was chosen carefully and trimmed to stay within our budget — everyone knows that the economy is in a slump and that things are tight. So I was especially upset when several of my single friends called my mom to ask if they could bring along a date. Our invitations made no mention of bringing an escort or a date. Am I being unfair and overreacting? My mom says that my friends are being really rude. How do you feel about this and how can mom, or I say ‘no’ politely?”

Dear bride: Your mother is right to be annoyed and so are you. Usually, such requests come from people who haven’t been involved with planning a wedding and don’t realize the cost factors. But, even if your budget would allow for additional guests, the people who asked to bring “a date,” are out of line. A wedding isn’t a “dating event” and the invitation is for the invitee alone. An exception applies if a guest is engaged. In that circumstance, the invitation should be extended to them as a couple. If you wish to make an exception for any of your guests, you needn’t do so for all of them. For those guests who ask to bring a date, either you or your mom simply needs to say that dates are not included.

Readers, do you agree? Share your thoughts in the comments box below, or submit your own question to the Wedding Guru by emailing Judy at judy@hudsonvalleyweddings.com.

sad girl on bench