Friendship, Supersized

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: For one Valley bride, it’s not the size of her bridesmaid that matters — it’s the size of her heart

All too often brides forget the underlying purpose of selecting an attendant. Some choose their attendants based on how they’ll look walking down the aisle and standing next to one another. It helps to remember that the phrase “honor attendant” means exactly that: It’s an opportunity for the bride to “honor” the people who are closest to her. In her efforts to make everything “perfect,” that intention is, unfortunately, lost.

A Valley bride asks: “My cousin and I grew up together and have been close since childhood. I want to include her as a bridesmaid. The problem is that she is grossly overweight. I’m worried about the way she’ll look in my wedding photos, and secondly, that she’ll be embarrassed standing up in front of everyone. What should I do?”

Dear bride: Phew! I was about to include you in the “bridezilla” category, but your second concern gives you a reprieve. As far as the way your cousin will look standing up with you, try to remember that what a wedding is about is people and relationships. If you and your cousin are that close, the likelihood is that you’ll continue your relationship after your wedding day. So does it really matter, how she looks? Isn’t it more important that you honor someone you really care about?

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You do, however, have a point about the possibility of your cousin feeling uncomfortable because of her weight. That’s an easy fix — just ask her! If she says “yes,” she’s comfortable, then by all means, include her in the wedding party. You may wish — if it’s okay with her — to accompany her when she buys her bridesmaid dress. In that way, you have some “control” about the way she looks.

To submit your own question to the Wedding Guru, email Judy at

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