Father-of-the-Groom’s Role at a Wedding

We all know what the father of the bride is tasked with — but what about the father of the groom? Here’s how Dad can help if his son is getting hitched

When it comes to planning a wedding it’s important that everyone in the bridal party knows his or her role. This father-of-the-groom wants to make sure that he knows what will be expected of him so that he doesn’t disappoint.

A father-of-the-groom asks…
“My son and I are very close and I’m very much looking forward to his getting married to a wonderful young woman. That said, what do I do during the wedding? Do you have any suggestions of how I can be helpful in the planning and festivities?”

The Wedding Guru says…
Your role begins even before the wedding itself! Of course, the most obvious of your responsibilities include simply being a calming influence. Offer some father-and-son time together. Whether you go hiking, golfing, or have a quiet dinner together, it will be a good respite for him from wedding details. Because you are close to your son, you can easily ask him how you can be involved in order to make things easier for him and his bride. Why not suggest ways to participate?

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Now, for the technical stuff. According to traditional etiquette, if you host the engagement party, it will be up to you to make a toast to welcome the bride’s family. If you are hosting the rehearsal dinner, you will make a toast to welcome the guests, the bride’s family, and a special toast in honor of the bridal couple.

At the wedding ceremony, you may be asked to escort the groom’s mother (assuming that she is your wife) to her seat. You can expect to be in the receiving line, where you will meet and greet guests. You may also be asked to dance with the bride after she has danced with your son and her father. At the reception, you will again toast the couple after the bride’s father has done so.

At this important juncture in his life, make sure to reiterate to your son how much you love him. Let him know that you will always be there for him — now, and in the future — and that you are prepared to assist him in any way he wishes.

Got more questions? Write to me at judy@hvmag.com!

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