The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Engaged!

Engagements are special times, and most couples remember this period in their lives as an especially happy one. Nevertheless, issues arise that sometimes make it difficult to enjoy the “moment.” Couples should keep in mind that there really is nothing new under the sun; everything they’re experiencing has been seen before, every question has an answer, and most problems can, indeed, be resolved. The important thing to remember is the essence of the process — which is to celebrate the love between two people and the melding of families.

Eileen asks: “My parents are throwing us an engagement party. Is it okay to invite guests to that party, yet not invite them to our wedding?”

Dear Eileen: This one’s easy: The answer is absolutely “No!” It would be really tacky — and look like a request for a gift — to do so. Engagement party guests should and can assume that they will also be invited to your wedding.

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Joan asks: “What is the appropriate time to have an engagement party and who is ‘supposed’ to throw it? My fiancé and I got engaged recently, but our wedding won’t be until almost a year from now.”

Dear Joan: An engagement party can be held as soon after the couple becomes engaged as is practical. Your engagement party is the perfect opportunity for the two (or more) sets of parents to announce the good news, and a great time for close relatives and friends to meet one another and to personally congratulate you.

According to tradition, the bride’s parents host the engagement party. Years ago, this celebration was actually the occasion at which the parents of the future bride announced the engagement. (In those days, the announcement was usually a surprise.) It’s not so today, so the party can be held whenever your parents prefer.


Would you like to share your own engagement stories? Write them in the box below, or submit your own question to “The Wedding Guru” by e-mailing judy@hvmag.com.

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