Every year is a chance to start anew. As the ball drops in Times Square, your determination rises. This is it, you tell yourself. I’m going to eat better, get in shape, and find time to focus on meaningful friendships. You really mean it and follow through—until a couple of weeks after the holiday decorations have been put away. After that, those great resolutions fall as flat as the bottle of champagne you forgot to put in the fridge the morning after.
It doesn’t have to be that way. If these goals are at the top of your list, the year really can be a clean slate and, in fact, you can write a new, better story for yourself on it. That’s because New Year’s resolutions are more than just aspirations, they’re habits to be made. Once you find your groove, it’s easy to just keep going. The experts say it, believe it, and live it themselves, so follow their secrets.
Build a Better Diet
Eating healthy means more than giving up candy and croissants. It’s also about deciding what you will eat. One thing to consciously work more of into your diet is protein, says Elizabeth DeRobertis, director of the Nutrition Center at Scarsdale Medical Group. “Most people lose about one percent of lean body mass every year, and that decreases our metabolism,” she says. “Protein is made up of amino acids, the building blocks we need to preserve our muscle.” Add in some weight training, and you’ll do a great job of holding onto your muscle and staying lean.
Another reason why protein is helpful is that it promotes satiety, a feeling of fullness and satisfaction after you’ve eaten. “When we eat protein, it takes our body longer to break it down, which helps us to feel full for longer. It also takes our body more calories to burn it,” DeRobertis says. Unlike carbs, protein doesn’t raise your blood sugar, either.
Per DeRobertis, people should try to eat 1 to 1.2 grams of protein for every kilogram of body weight. Try two eggs at breakfast and maybe add some cottage cheese. Give protein a place at the lunch table by having a sandwich with fresh turkey or a salad topped with grilled chicken, salmon, or shrimp. Protein-rich snacks include Greek yogurt, a 100-calorie bag of nuts, or cottage cheese (if you didn’t have it at breakfast). Dinner should include another lean meat or fish coupled with a salad with vegetables. Of course, make sure you get in your daily servings of fruits and veggies as well.
Monitor your fiber intake, too—you should aim to get 25 to 35 grams of fiber a day. “There are two types. Insoluble fiber goes through us without being digested, and that type helps with regularity. Soluble fiber helps reduce cholesterol and LDL [aka “bad”] cholesterol by breaking apart and grabbing onto cholesterol and pulling it through our body,” DeRobertis says. Fiber also helps to regulate our blood sugar. “If we have a carbohydrate that’s high in fiber such as whole-grain pasta or a piece of fruit, our body doesn’t break it down as quickly or as thoroughly, and our blood sugar doesn’t rise as much,” she says.
Feel free to have all the veggies you want, DeRobertis says. “They’re low in calories, they don’t have any fat, they’re low in carbohydrates, and they’re high in fiber,” she explains. “Adding that kind of roughage to our day is really helpful. We can eat a bigger volume, so it helps with weight management and blood sugar control, and a lot of that is because of the fiber.” If you want to boost your fiber intake with your morning eggs, make a veggie omelet, or try some make-ahead eggs in a muffin tin with vegetables like spinach, tomatoes, or peppers.
Monitor your fiber intake, too—you should aim to get 25 to 35 grams of fiber a day.
At snack time, if you’re having Greek yogurt or cottage cheese, add fresh berries or sprinkle chia or flax seeds on top. A lunchtime salad topped with protein will cover your bases, and on sandwich days use high-fiber bread and put some baby carrots, cucumber slices, or mini tomatoes on the side. In the evening, “if you start by eating a big salad at dinner, or even snack on some raw vegetables while cooking, and then have some kind of cooked vegetables with dinner, that will give you multiple fiber sources,” DeRobertis says.
Shape Up
Put some muscle behind your fitness goals—literally. While you may think getting in shape and losing weight is only about cardio, muscle building is a must, says Jake Thorp, coach and co-owner of Crossfit Beyond in Albany. “One big misconception is that building muscle is a young person’s game,” he says, “but it increases bone density and range of motion in our joints, especially for the aging population. It’s like the old saying goes, if you don’t use it, you lose it.”
Muscle-building also gives your brain a healthy workout. “These physical skills [related to the process] also require a lot of brain function, like coordination and balance,” Thorp points out. And there are big benefits to developing these abilities, especially as the years pass. “They’re the difference between slipping and falling on ice and breaking your hip or being able to catch yourself,” Thorp says.
How, exactly, does building muscle make your bones dense? “If you’re putting physical stress on the musculoskeletal system, it’s going to signal your body that it needs to put resources into maintaining a degree of bone density,” Thorp says. It’s also great for weight control: Muscle demands more metabolic energy than fat, so even in a rested state you’re going to burn more calories.
Instead of seeing exercise as a chore or luxury, “shift your mindset,” Thorp recommends. “It has to become a personal responsibility. We make time to brush our teeth and shower every day—this is metabolic hygiene. Plan for four days a week, and if you only get to do it three days a week, you’re still going to get fantastic benefits and be able to build a habit of regular exercise.” Of course, eat healthfully, as DeRobertis outlined, and try not to eat big meals right before bedtime. “A lot of muscle building happens in recovery, not in training, and most of your recovery occurs when you’re sleeping,” Thorp says. “If you’re eating big meals right before you sleep, your body is going to allocate resources to digesting that food in your gut and not repairing and building your muscles.”
At the gym, “try doing body-weight air squats, which means squatting down until your hips are below your knees. To do a pushup, bring your chest all the way to the ground. A proper sit-up means sitting all the way up and touching your toes at the top. And then for pull-ups and chin-ups, bring your chin over the bar every time,” Thorp says. He’s also a fan of using a lightweight kettlebell: Swing it between your legs, extending through with your hips, and then return it in front of you. Of course, there are modified, easier versions of these exercises. For example, Thorp says, “Instead of having a straight body position during a pushup, just bring your knees to the ground. You can still do a full pushup but not be pushing all of your body weight up.”
Most of these exercises can be done at home and require little equipment, although you might want your own kettlebells, as well as a beaded (weighted) jump rope. “Use it for a minute or two for 20-second intervals, followed by 10 seconds of rest. Do it for a few minutes to warm up or do jumping jacks in place for the same amount of time,” Thorp recommends. Then launch into your exercise routine—you’ll become at home with it, without even leaving the house.
Muscle demands more metabolic energy than fat, so even while resting you burn more calories.
Shore Up Your Social Life
Friends was a TV show—but friends should be part of your real life too. Their benefits are astonishing and wide-ranging: Studies have shown they boost life satisfaction and ward off depression, make you less likely to die from all causes (including heart problems and chronic disease), and can even make you feel less intimidated about challenges, such as having to climb a hill. But in our busy lives, it can be hard to keep in touch with people, let alone stay really close. How do you do it?
“I think this is a great question and one that’s important to take seriously,” says Tonya Swartzendruber, a licensed mental health counselor in Nyack. “Find time when you can to text together,” she recommends, as opposed to random intervals with long delays. Also, she adds, don’t think that every conversation has to be deep. “Just chatting about things helps us feel much more connected,” she says. If it’s been a minute since you and a friend connected, simply texting “How are you? I’ve been thinking about you,” is a great reach out. “You can also say, ‘I was remembering the time we did this or that together,’” Swartzendruber says. “Just remind your friends that they’re on your mind.”
In some cases, though, it’s your friend who’s been putting the distance between you, saying they’re too busy to get together. Although it sounds counterintuitive, the key to maintaining a relationship like that is to give it some air. “One of the best gifts we can give to people in that situation is to not take it personally, and to recognize we all have phases of life where we don’t have the bandwidth. Let your friend know, ‘Hey, I’m here. I care about you. I know you’re really busy and I totally get that. I’m going to be here when you have some more time, and let me know how I can help out,’” Swartzendruber advises.
Studies have shown that friends boost life satisfaction as well as ward off depression.
You may also have some friendships that seem to be fading out. For instance, even though your friend no longer works full-time, he seems to want to spend his leisure hours doing things other than getting together. “It’s never bad to approach a conversation with someone when you feel like you’re kind of chasing them and reaching out more. You can point it out in a non-judgmental way and then ask, ‘Do you want to keep pursuing the friendship in the way that I do, or would it feel better for us to just see each other every once in a while?’” Swartzendruber says.
If the person does seem determined to drift away, see it as an opportunity rather than a loss: You now have freedom to find other friends, or get closer to some that are more on the periphery. If you’re both busy, do things together that the two of you need to accomplish anyway, like taking a walk or shopping. Meet new people through charity and community work, groups dedicated to your hobbies, work parties, and other gatherings. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying a life rich in friends and the good things that come along with them.
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