How to Turn Down a Wedding Invitation (or Attend a Wedding Alone)

An attached wedding guest is invited — without a plus-one. Should she turn down the invite? Or go alone?

Sometimes, a limited wedding budget (or another issue altogether) forces a bridal couple to cut their guest list. While not many people enjoy attending a wedding alone, they must always try to be sensitive to the couple’s wishes.

Dear Wedding Guru: “I’ve been invited to a friend’s wedding. The bride and groom both know that I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone. Despite this, I’ve been invited to attend solo. I’m going to decline the invitation, because I simply wouldn’t have any fun going alone. Should I tell the bride and groom the reason why I’m not attending?”

(Our answer on next page)

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The Wedding Guru says: Are you a close friend or family member? If so, you can probably tell the bride why you aren’t attending. The key is to do it in the most unthreatening, polite, low-key way, so as not to be pushy or insulting. Mention that you feel uncomfortable attending alone, but you understand the number crunch in a wedding budget. Be empathetic, open, and friendly, and remember to say that you appreciate the invitation. Wish the couple much good luck, add that you look forward to seeing the photos and hearing all about the wedding — and do send the couple a wedding gift.

…By the way, before you decide to turn down a “single” invitation, take into consideration that if you go alone, you might meet other interesting people — or future friends. So it may not be as uncomfortable as you might imagine!

» More on wedding R.S.V.P.
» More on wedding guests
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2012

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