Wedding Traditions: Breaking the Rules and Having a Custom Wedding

Do I always have to wear white? Can I scrap the cake in favor of something a little more fun? One bride wants to break the rules — and it’s perfectly okay

Notice anything about weddings lately? Brides are breaking the rules all over the place. These breaches of etiquette is a way in which bridal couples can customize and personalize their weddings.

A Hudson Valley bride asks: “I have some questions: Do I have to wear a white wedding gown? Do I have to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen? Can I have something other than wedding cake as my dessert? Help!”

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The Wedding Guru says: You do not have to wear white. You can choose pale pink, blue, and even black (check out more wedding dress dilemmas — and solutions — here). However, if you’re having a very traditional wedding, you may want to think hard about this one.

You absolutely do not have to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Even more adventuresome bridal couples are choosing grooms-maids and brides-men, too.

Your dessert can be as outré as you want it to be. Cupcakes are very popular at the moment. If you want to serve what you like, consider an ice cream sundae bar, milk and cookies, chocolate-dipped fruit, a candy bar — any fun thing you think your guests would enjoy. At a recent wedding I attended, there was a candy bar for the children (but I think the adults enjoyed it even more).

The general rule when veering from traditional customs is to follow your heart. If it feels good, go for it, but remember to keep your guests in mind. Always accommodate, not offend!

» More about wedding traditions
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2013


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About This Blog

Tying the knot shouldn't put knots in your stomach, so whether you're the blushing bride, hubby-to-be, or even a wedding guest, The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis can answer all of your wedding-related questions.

This blog hails from, the one-stop resource for services and products, promotions and specials, a Regional Bridal Show schedule, Wed Shop, and links to money-saving and wedding-related Web sites.


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