Wedding Guests: Hosting a Pre-Wedding Party
Can’t invite everyone to your wedding? Why not host an intimate, “no gifts” gathering for those who can’t make it (but still want to celebrate your big day)?
Many years ago, when my husband was a chaplain in the army, I learned a valuable lesson: I wanted to hold a dinner party, but officers were only supposed to invite guests of their rank or below — this excluded my husband’s commanding officer and his wife from attending. The Chief of Chaplain’s wife let me on an important rule of thumb: If you’re doing something that really comes from the heart (and not to garner a reward or praise), you will always be okay, etiquette-wise!
A Hudson Valley bride asks: “My fiancé and I are having a very small wedding, because his family lives abroad and most of them won’t be able to attend. I don’t want to overwhelm the few that do come by inviting a large group of my medical school classmates (with whom I am very close). Can I throw a pre-wedding party for my classmates instead, and not invite them to my wedding?”
(Continued on next page)
The Wedding Guru says: If you’re following the “rule” in my introduction, then the answer is absolutely yes! With that in mind, I suggest you specify “no gifts, please” on the invitation to the pre-wedding dinner. This way, your friends will know it’s not a gift you’re looking for, but rather the ability to celebrate with them.