Wedding Traditions: Giving the Toast (and What to Do When You Can’t Toast)
A bridal couple nixes the traditional toast — but the parents want to speak up
Regardless of new traditions and the informality of some weddings, there are some rules of etiquette that always need to be followed. When that’s not possible, sometimes a compromise will work!
Dear Wedding Guru: “My son and future daughter-in-law want to only have toasts at the rehearsal dinner. Apparently, they’ve heard many horrible toasts at weddings (usually by people who have had one too many). I sympathize, because I’ve heard some as well! Still, I tried to convince them to allow my husband to make one short toast at the wedding in order to thank the bride’s parents for hosting it. We think that not doing so would be an unforgiveable faux pas. Are we wrong?”
(Our answer on next page)
The Wedding Guru says: I understand your concerns (and your son’s). It’s traditional for the father of the groom to thank the parents of the bride at the reception — but as with most traditions, it’s not etched in stone. If you can’t talk your son into allowing just two short toasts by the fathers of the bride and the groom, I offer this compromise: The groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner and, of course, the bride’s parents will attend, so your husband can give his toast at that time. His toast then can be followed by one from the bride’s father and anyone else that the bridal couple asks to speak.