Wedding Etiquette: Do I Attend My Former Sister-in-Law’s New Wedding?

What to do when your in-laws become your out-laws — and you’ve been invited to their second wedding?

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Dear Wedding Guest: I understand how painful this must be for both you and your mom. This is not really an etiquette question, because there aren’t really any “rules” that apply to such an invitation. It’s more a matter of the heart. If you were close to your former sister-in-law and have remained close, then I would suggest you make every effort to attend. If it makes it easier for you, consider attending just the ceremony and not the party. If your brother and his wife had children and you’ve remained close to your nieces/nephews, then you should attend for their sakes. I’m sure they would want their aunt and grandmother as a support system, because they lost a father. 

However, if you haven’t remained close to your former sister-in-law and her children after your brother’s death, then you may turn down the invitation. It would a classy thing to send a personal note wishing her happiness.

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About This Blog

Congratulations — you're involved in a wedding! Tying the knot shouldn't put knots in your stomach, so whether you're the blushing bride or hubby-to-be, an attendant or a guest, Wedding Guru Judy Lewis can answer all your need-to-know questions about your nuptials.

Judy Lewis is the founder of, the one-stop resource for services and products, promotions and specials, a Regional Bridal Show schedule, Wed Shop, and links to money-saving and wedding-related Web sites. In her spare time, Judy loves to compose poetry and create collages. She currently resides in Kingston with her husband and business partner, Jon.



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