All-Inclusive: If You’re Not Sure Who to Include on Your Wedding Invitations, All Is Better Than None

When inviting wedding guests or adding them to invitations, always err on the side of inclusion

If there’s no Wedding Guru around to answer your questions, follow the rule of “inclusion” and you can’t go wrong. (This usually works for everything, whether you’re questioning to invite a guest or to give a “thank you” gift.) You can never get in trouble if you draw a wider circle or are more generous, right?

A Hudson Valley bride asks: Help! My fiancé and I are getting married. This is the third time for both of us. We were divorced, remarried, and then our spouses passed away. My fiancé’s stepdaughter is engaged and will be married two months after us. Do I list her fiancé’s name alongside hers under our children’s names?

My fiancé says yes and I say no. He says I’m listing my sons along with their wives (they have both been married for over 10 years now), so I should list his stepdaughter’s fiancé. Who’s right?”

(Our answer on next page)

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The Wedding Guru answers: First off, congratulations! It sounds as if fate really smiled on you. Though there’s no set rule that covers your particular event, I always opt on the side of inclusion rather than exclusion. Your engaged children are grown-ups and there’s not much chance that their wedding won’t take place — what better way to welcome your future son-in-law into your family than to include him in the program? If you’re really really uncomfortable with that, you can write it in this way:

Your stepdaughter’s name and her fiancé's name (i.e. “Mary and fiancé Evan,” or “Mary Smith [if you’re listing last names for your other children] and fiancé Evan Jones.”) You can’t ever make a mistake by being too inclusive. Much good luck on all the weddings in your future!

» More on wedding invitations
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2012


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About This Blog

Tying the knot shouldn't put knots in your stomach, so whether you're the blushing bride, hubby-to-be, or even a wedding guest, The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis can answer all of your wedding-related questions.

This blog hails from, the one-stop resource for services and products, promotions and specials, a Regional Bridal Show schedule, Wed Shop, and links to money-saving and wedding-related Web sites.


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