The Groom’s Role in the Wedding Planning Process: More Than Just “I Do”
The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Grooms today take a more active role than ever in planning their weddings
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Dear Mother of the Groom: I absolutely agree! Most bridal couples these days receive financial assistance from both sets of parents. Since you’re sharing expenses, there’s no question that you should be included in some of the decision-making process of how that money is used. Of course, if that isn’t assumed by the other party, then you should chat with the bridal couple and her parents and make it clear that you expect to be in the planning loop. If you do that in a positive way — emphasizing that you two want to help (not control) — it will hopefully be accepted and integrated.
In most of the weddings I’ve attended, the groom certainly helps plan the wedding. Because grooms today tend to be older (and perhaps wiser), they want their opinions to count, so they’re more invested in initiating plans and making significant decisions. When it’s time for your sons to tie the knot, make sure they understand that it’s their absolute right to participate.
However, keep in mind that some grooms are just as happy not to be involved; they trust their bride (or a planner) to design the wedding entirely. Before you rock the boat, make sure you and your sons are all on the same wavelength about the degree of participation.