We’re Low on Cash: Can We Ask Our Wedding Guests to Pay for Their Meals?

A local bride and her fiancé consider an epic breach of wedding etiquette; thankfully, the Wedding Guru stops them in their tracks

Dealing with the union of two families is always tricky. More often than not, their wedding is the bride and groom’s first connection with each other’s extended families — and making a good impression is really important. Unfortunately, when finances come into the picture, things get even more complicated. That said, some things are unequivocally a breach of etiquette and a foolish way to begin relationships!

Dear Wedding Guru: “My fiancé and I are currently planning our wedding. My parents are contributing most of the money (his are not contributing at all). His family is much larger than mine, so we thought we’d ask each guest from his side to send us the money to pay for their meals. In that way, his family would be contributing to our wedding. What would be the best way to ask them to do so?”

(Our answer on next page)

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The Wedding Guru says: This is a first for the Wedding Guru, but here’s my answer: Asking any guest to pay for his or her meal is a BIG no-no! It’s also a terrible way to start a relationship with your future husband’s family. Either cut the number of guests from his side, suck it up and pay for them yourself, or try to convince his parents to contribute “whatever they can.” It would be better not to invite anyone from his family than to ask them to pay their way!

» More on wedding guests
» More on paying for a wedding
» More from The Wedding Guru
» Submit a question to the Wedding Guru
» Hudson Valley Weddings 2012

 

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