Limiting Your Guest List at a Bridal Shower: Good Idea or Faux-Pas?
A mother-in-law plans a bridal shower — but excludes the bride’s family. What’s a bride to do?
Sometimes it’s difficult to remember that a wedding is about adding family, and it’s tough to behave in the way that cements bonds rather than risks rifts. As the bride-to-be, it’s your job to remember this concept. Read on...
Dear Wedding Guru: “My future mother-in-law just told me that she’s throwing me a shower. However... she’s excluding my entire bridal party and most of my family members. I’m devastated that my aunts and bridal attendants will not be invited, and I don’t know what to do. Should I tell her that I rather she didn’t throw a shower with those parameters? I hate to start our relationship on a bad foot. Please help.”
(Our answer on next page)
The Wedding Guru says: I understand that you feel badly about your bridal shower guest list; still, the key is to make every effort to avoid creating a rift with your future family. According to etiquette, showers have always been small parties where not everyone is invited. It looks like your mother-in-law wants to limit the guest list to her friends and family, which she’s certainly entitled to do. The good news is that it’s not unusual for a bride to have several showers (and for each to have a different guest list).
Nip the problem in the bud and let your attendants and close family know as soon as possible that your future mother-in-law is throwing a shower and limiting the guest list to her close friends and family. Since controlling the guest list is not up to you, you can explain that she’s not looking to insult your attendants or your family. Then, thank your future mother-in-law and start building a good relationship with her — by being appreciative and by doing whatever you can to make the party a success, regardless of whom she invites.