Toddler Rules Every Mom and Dad Should Know

Toddlers got you stressed? Sit down and share a laugh with Mama Greenest’s favorite “facts” of parenting



Every so often, after a new blog goes up, I’ll open up my inbox to find several well-meaning friends have sent me a link to some shamefully funny mom rant. Apparently a levity alarm sounds when I’m reaching DEFCON 1. Last week was one such week (read about it here). So, in honor of Thanksgiving, this week I thought I’d share a little toddler-mom humor to get you through the holiday (and perhaps even the next year or two):

15 Ways Not to Raise a Toddler by Mira Jacob
Just confirmation that I am, in fact, Mother of the Year. I’m guilty of 12 of the 15, several times a day (feeling a little better about myself that I can at least cross #7 off the list). My personal favorite: “Don’t ask, ‘Why did you do that?’ Why did you bite that boy? Why did you hit your sister? Why is there spaghetti in your ear? Why am I asking you a question you can’t possibly answer in any way that will make me feel better? Oh yes, because it’s easier than accepting the idea that I am in charge of a tiny lunatic.”

Top Ten Reasons Why Three is Worse than Two from Rants from Mommyland
I was shaking in my Chuck Taylors before I got past the title of this one. And by the time I got to #10 I was in tears (of laughter, of course). My personal favorite: “Little girls get a wee bit emotional at three. Not a lot, just enough to turn your house into a damn telenovela.”

A Toddler’s Rules of Possession from Rookie Moms
Just in case there’s any confusion as to how your two-year-old sees the world, and everything in it. Your stuff included.

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About This Blog

Shannon Gallagher

Shannon Gallagher
Rhinebeck, NY


Dutchess County native Shannon Gallagher is a contributing editor for Hudson Valley Magazine. An erstwhile thrill-seeker, these days she courts disaster of a different variety wrangling a spirited toddler, honing her vegan baking skills, and chasing the ever-elusive work-family balance. She teaches Pilates and does fascial bodywork, and lives in Rhinebeck with Coraline, a cat named Otie, and Sushi the Fish (named, of course, by the toddler).

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